Summary Word of the Day: FAIL (Epic)
I promised you all I would write truthfully and honestly so I hope that you can understand when I tell you about Day 4 and not see it as a massive failure in my 7 Day Challenge. I’m a real person and this is a real journey which I hope reflects the real life struggles of making changes. I don’t want to write a load of crap that says it was easy because we all know that’s not how it is for majority of us who try to make changes or diet. It’s a rollercoaster. Some days you do well. Some days you have set backs. Some days you don’t just fall off the wagon, you burn it and send the ashes into outer space. Then you get back on your game and get back on track.
After the positivity (and smugness) of Day 3, I am sorry to report that I had an epic FAIL on Day 4.
I woke up after a huge amount of stress on the evening of Day 3 and felt crap. Absolutely, truly battered. My mood was so low, I was basically on the floor. I could not pick myself up, no matter how hard I tried and the feeling got worse throughout the day. I just felt utterly crap and so down. Totally miserable. Just one of those PCOS days where the world is too much.
My confession to you for Day 4 is that I did all the self-destructive ‘comforting’ things I could think of to make myself feel better. I had sugar. I had junk food. I had carbs. Why do we opt for such bad choices to make ourselves feel better when we’re struggling? I’ve always been an emotional eater, which is why I guess I put on so much weight in the past.
I wish I hadn’t, but I couldn’t pick myself up. I was blubbing my heart out and depriving myself of the sweet stuff seemed cruel on top of everything else and how I was feeling. It felt like a pit of depression and I just couldn’t pull myself up and out of it. I wanted to put my PJs back on and go to bed to make the day and the feeling go away.
How can PCOS be such a rollercoaster? How is it fair that stress batters us so badly? I understand the science behind it all and how it affects PCOS, but I just don’t get how it’s fair! Just a random one… Why you don’t lose weight when you cry – where does all the water come from??
The sugar high did help my mood and lifted me out of the darkness. I don’t know whether it was psychological or whether the sugar did actually boost me, but I got out of it. A good chat with my Mum helped too. Mummy chats are the best!
On the plus side, my anxiety seems to have reduced a bit, so maybe I had just been brewing for a bit of a melt down over the last few days. A good cry and a bit of chocolate and maybe I’m out the other side now.
Bullet point summary of Day 4:
What Did I Learn
- I’m definitely an emotional eater.
- Sometimes sugar does help when you feel down – even if it’s psychological.
- Stress is REALLY bad for PCOS.
- I need to deal with the stress in my life so it doesn’t affect my body, mind or PCOS – or my progress! Life’s too short!
- Mummy chats are the best.
- PCOS moods are a rollercoaster!
- Smugness from Day 3 was short-lived so I should have enjoyed it while it lasted!
Positives and Negatives of Day 4
- My anxiety levels have lowered from previous days.
- I slept better.
- I had a good chat with my Mum. I’m lucky that my family is great for support.
- I managed to get out of my super low mood… eventually.
- I still have 3 days to complete my 7 Day Challenge Giving Up Sugar.
- Even though I failed on Day 4, I’m pleased I can show you my honest journey.
- I ate junk and sugar.
- My mood was ridiculously low – thanks PCOS and stress.
- I didn’t build on the success of Day 3.
- I failed badly so far in my 7 Day Challenge Giving Up Sugar.
- I feel like I’ve let you all down.
Not a good day for my mood, PCOS or my 7 Day Challenge Giving Up Sugar. Lots of lessons to learn from about stress, how it affects me and how I respond to it. I also know I have the best Mum in the world (sorry!). I also still have 3 days left to get this mastered and I’m determined to do it.
Here’s to a positive and happier Day 5!
If you haven’t read the last 4 ‘episodes’ of my 7 Day Challenge Giving Up Sugar, read them here:
The Scrambled Egg
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